The Three Army-Surgeons
Three army surgeons who thought they knew their
art perfectly were traveling about the world, and they came to an inn where they wanted to
pass the night. The host asked whence they came, and whither they were going. We are
roaming about the world and practising our art. Show me just once what you can do, said
the host. Then the first said he would cut off his hand, and put it on again early next
morning. The second said he would tear out his heart, and replace it next morning. The
third said he would gouge out his eyes and heal them again next morning. If you can do
that, said the innkeeper, you have learnt everything. They, however, had a salve, with
which they rubbed themselves, which joined parts together, and they constantly carried
with them the little bottle in which it was. Then they cut the hand, heart and eyes from
their bodies as they had said they would, and laid them all together on a plate, and gave
it to the innkeeper. The innkeeper gave it to a servant-girl who was to set it in the
cupboard, and take good care of it. Secretly, however, the girl had a lover, who was a
soldier. When therefore the innkeeper, the three army surgeons, and everyone else in the
house were asleep, the soldier came and wanted something to eat. The girl opened the
cupboard and brought him some food, and in her love forgot to shut the cupboard-door
again. She seated herself at the table by her lover, and they chatted away together. While
she sat so contentedly there, thinking of no ill luck, the cat came creeping in, found the
cupboard open, took the hand and heart and eyes of the three army surgeons, and ran off
with them. When the soldier had done eating, and the girl was taking away the things and
going to shut the cupboard, she saw that the plate which the innkeeper had given her to
take care of, was empty. Then she said in a fright to her lover, ah, miserable girl, what
shall I do. The hand is gone, the heart and the eyes are gone too, what will become of me
in the morning. Be easy, said he, I will help you out of your trouble. There is a thief
hanging outside on the gallows, I will cut off his hand. Which hand was it. The right one.
Then the girl gave him a sharp knife, and he went and cut the poor sinner's right hand
off, and brought it to her. After this he caught the cat and gouged its eyes out, and now
nothing but the heart was missing. Have you not been slaughtering, and are not the dead
pigs in the cellar, said he. Yes, said the girl. That's fine, said the soldier, and he
went down and fetched a pig's heart. The girl placed all together on the plate, and put it
in the cupboard, and when after this her lover took leave of her, she went quietly to bed.
In the morning when the three army surgeons got up, they told the girl she was to bring
them the plate on which the hand, heart, and eyes were lying. Then she brought it out of
the cupboard, and the first fixed the thief's hand on and smeared it with his salve, and
it promptly grew to his arm. The second took the cat's eyes and put them in his own head.
The third fixed the pig's heart firm in the place where his own had been, and the
innkeeper stood by, admired their skill, and said he had never yet seen such a thing as
that done, and would sing their praises and recommend them to everyone. Then they paid
their bill, and traveled further. As they were on their way, the one with the pig's heart
did not stay with them at all, but wherever there was a corner he ran to it, and rooted
about in it with his nose as pigs do. The others wanted to hold him back by the tail of
his coat, but that did no good. He tore himself loose, and ran wherever the dirt was
deepest. The second also behaved very strangely. He rubbed his eyes, and said to the
others, comrades, what has happened. These are not my eyes. I don't see at all. Will one
of you lead me, so that I do not fall. Then with difficulty they traveled on till evening,
when they reached another inn. They went into the bar together, and there at a table in
the corner sat a rich man counting money. The one with the thief's hand walked round about
him, made a few jerky movements with his arm, and at last when the stranger turned away,
snatched at the pile of money, and took a handful from it. One of them saw this, and said,
comrade, what are you about. You must not steal, shame on you. Eh, said he, but what can I
do. My hand twitches, and I am forced to snatch things whether I will or not. After this,
they lay down to sleep, and while they were lying there it was so dark that no one could
see his own hand. All at once the one with the cat's eyes awoke, aroused the others, and
said, brothers, just look up, do you see the white mice running about there. The two sat
up, but could see nothing. Then said he, things are not right with us, we have not got
back again what is ours. We must return to the innkeeper, he has deceived us. So they went
back the next morning, and told the host they had not received what was their own, that
the first had a thief's hand, the second cat's eyes, and the third a pig's heart. The
innkeeper said that the girl must be to blame for that, and was going to call her, but
when she had seen the three coming, she had run out by the backdoor, and not come back.
Then the three said he must give them a great deal of money, or they would set the red
cock on his roof. - The symbol of a red cock for fire is of remote antiquity. - He gave
them what he had, and whatever he could raise, and the three went away with it. It was
enough for the rest of their lives, but they would rather have had their own rightful
organs.
--The End-- |
